Its like Russian Roulette

when you are searching for a place to live in the baseball world. Usually online. I have lived in some places that would scare the pee out of most women. But thats the way it goes. We were so po I had no choice. I wont go into detail about those times..But I will brag my little heart out about my experience this year! This year I am in heaven. We found a cute studio apartment downtown! I have a great view, a sushi restaurant that delivers on the first floor of my building, there is a coffee shop and the library across the street. There is a subway next door and the art museum is 2 blocks away!!! woootywooot! Its so all about location for me. I gotta keep my brain stimulated. I dont even care about having furniture as much as I do finding a place close to the field and in a nice area. Furniture is just something else to sign a lease for and move out. I have a table two chairs and my bed! Thats alll! The trolley passes by my front door and goes straight to the field all day. No waking up early and driving Fernie to the field if I dont feel like it. Ooooh yeah and theres a salon in the other building across the street and an awesome gym in the basement its super fancy neato 100 bucks a month to work out there but super cheap for me because I live here! Tons of well mannered business men and women, no skin head nazis living next door. I cant even believe it i got lucky this year!!! I love Oklahoma. yippeeeee!

To bond or not to bond?

One of the weird things about baseball is that it has made me lonely sooo lonely for my girlfriends and yet so over the getting personal with anyone. Should this be considered a typical business situation? After all it is your husbands job right? The kind of professional relationships where you stick to greetings and small talk and not much else should be maintained after then. Ooor is this your life? Should you make friends for your own sanity and let these random people in? By random I mean different backgrounds, religious views,  political views ect. Is this the kind of situation where you are obligated to be there for each other?  I guess it is. And the worst part of this whole dilemma is that you will inevitably be separated from these friends that have been there for you all season. They even might become more easy for you to talk to than some of your buddies back home. After all they are there through baseball the highs and the oh so lows. A classic case of only someone who has been there can truly understand.  Even if you are acting like a psycho lonely beeatch and not making any sense. (Like I have for example) these become the people that are dear to you. Perhaps I should think of it as a bittersweet situation.  Bitter because it is brief and you inevitably risk some  drama, sweet because of the tight bond you make.

My love affair with baseball

Keeping Fernie aside..I want to make it known to you millions of readers..that I truly love baseball. The games are not too slow for my taste..more like a perfect symphony of highs and lows. Speaking of symphony, thats exactly what its like. Or maybe like a ballet or an opera..slow moving with wonderful points of intense emotion, a home run. Only those that truly love it and understand it seem to get the most out of it. Except at this opera you are allowed to talk, discuss the game, discuss life in general. During the many intermissions (pitchers warming up, our boys stepping up to the plate) you have time to think a little and go back to the game. What is more relaxing than baseball? (Unless your husband is pitching and you are having a break down) Nothing I tell you! It is something that is as simple or as complex as you want to make it. Boys running around a diamond if it is your fancy or strategy and statistics galore to the more analytical individual. This game is an "aquired taste" for me.. Something I have grown to love in my own way. But, I have made a new friend in baseball and I hope I always appreciate it as I do now.

Its been a long long time

Since Ive written to you blog. I just noticed that I have two followers. yay! Darcy and Leslie. At least someone cares enough to add me on this thing! :) I want to know if there is anyone else out there who seems to be constantly thinking and analyzing life in general? One main reason I never write in my blog is that I dont really feel like I have anything really amazing and important to say to the point that I am actually hoping others will read my words of wisdom. Which is why I also hardly ever update my facebook status. I just dont know what should be considered important enough to write. People always seem so confident in their opinions. I hope that I dont know the answers to everything..I hope there is still plenty for me to learn before I start trying to "Tell everyone like it is." But in this case, because I only have close friends and "baseball homies" as lindsey would say, reading this thing, I will try to take it a biiit less seriously. Since my last update way too many things have happened for me to fill in the gaps. But I will say that I am stronger, better, closer to God, closer to my husband and more independent since those years first beginning with the Bees. For a soul that has been quite damaged and repackaged over these 26 years, I feel like I am doing pretty great at this point in my life. Right now I am grateful that Fernie is doing what he loves, I am happy to be with him. I am also glad baseball has shown me who my close friends are (my sis, my best buddy erika, my mom, jenny, and a few others) and let the others drift away a little bit. I am still homesick, that is one thing that hasnt changed since my last blog. But what is it about El Paso, TX that i miss so much? I miss the smell of the desert rain for sure, the way a not so well put together dirt road rocks you as you listen to daddys advice in his truck. I miss shopping with my moma and driving around with her watching her fingers drum the steering wheel to a good song. I miss laughing with Maggie, a glass of wine or coffee and infinately chatting with erika, I miss my brother.. meeting him there at xmas, even the smell of horse poo and going for an evening ride with kimber..the mexican food, sunsets over the valley. The list goes on and on. Every time I go in town I cant seem to get enough of all of it. Im glad that now that I have been away so long I am forced to not take it for granted. And even so, I gladly trade it all to be with my husband. What an amazing man. How crazy lucky am I? Well I have rented Jersey Girl (the cheesy 80s version) only the cutest girly movie ever!!! and I am off to watch it and wait for my hunny to get home from the field.